We have our breath. You only have to inhale and exhale to touch the miracle that is your existence. A moment of mindfulness. In practice of awareness, you owe it to yourself – to observe this simple function. Breathe. Your breath – unites your past, present and future, all a distinct reality – yet all merely a perception. How miraculous! Your lungs expand only to release again, a rhythm that cleanses your mind, body and spirit. Breathe for me love. Notice yourself – noticing yourself – breathe again. And again. And again.
I have experienced an awakening over the past couple of weeks. Especially yesterday and today. I decided to sit with myself in a small patch of forest, so quintessentially New Zealand; Tuis and silver ferns and a big tall Kauri. I realised how dedicated I had become to feeling numb. As someone who had experienced the indifference of depression, my association untoward ‘numbness’ was all bad – sad – anxious… never had I thought of feeling nothing in so-called ‘happiness’. I had just experienced a couple of weeks that had left me drained. All escapism – all recreational but very very sad. Too much drinking – too much neglect – too many encounters that lacked the substance my soul craved. It made me feel lonely. I was tired of this feeling. So I breathed. And breathed. I breathed through it. And after listening to my intuition and a podcast or two… I REALISED “You won’t ever feel true love if you don’t allow your tears to cleanse you”. At this, I cried. And cried. For all the things I had done to ‘forget’. All the people I had been afraid to love. I cried so many tears – I washed my face with them – palms massaging my cheeks and temples and chin. I breathed. And breathed again. I REALISED ‘a new chapter had begun’. In essence, we have the chance to be born again, every day at breakfast…a special human quality – I love New Beginnings.
And this moment – right now – she is mine. She is beautiful. She is powerful. She is everything I am and wish to become. I truly love her …my heart swells. I don’t resent anything anymore – that isn’t good for her. But its okay to have resented it beforehand. This moment…she is nursing me back to love – I feed her with my compassion and time and a listening heart. A maternal instinct shines through my surrounding. My true spirit has opened her beautiful – newborn eyes.
Today we go Back to Basics. I have to re-teach myself things I already know. But that is okay … Thus far we have found;
my words of wisdom.
my passion and purpose.
the true beauty of our ocean and forest.
the sadness of social media.
the disconnect and connection.
my true love (I felt it in my heart)
the love for my body.
the respect for my existence.
the respect for their existence.
the sanctity of my bedroom.
eating to nourish.
living in the moment I want to remember.